mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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