What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
smell my finger.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Randomize
