i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
