sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Houston, we have a squirter
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
