He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
