why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We talked him into tasing himself.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
