I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
