so that wasnt chicken after all
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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