What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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