Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
