cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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