Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Watching her eat just hurts me
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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