The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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