Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
