I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I will pee on everything he values.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
