are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
