My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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