Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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