Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
