We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
