So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
