she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
