Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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