I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
