u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
