I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
