I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
