I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
