Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
