we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
