Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
