if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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