I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
