She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
