so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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