I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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