he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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