You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
