God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
