Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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