I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
