people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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