Where are you?
In a non slutty way
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
