jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
