You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
