do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
