Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The power of my boobs compel you
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
