Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
