He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
