I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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